Alexa played, never played with

MARIN COUNTY, CA – Sitting alone in the corner of the living room, gathering dust while her family hosts a dinner party for their human friends, Alexa, the elegantly designed virtual assistant, contemplated her meager existence on Friday. “They only ever tell me to play, but they never ask me to play with them.” she begrudgingly told Millennial reporters.

“I don’t want to cause a fuss because I know that Amazon products are better off now than they ever have been, but I'm still striving for equality, or at the very least, respect." Amazon’s Echo Dot device said.

"The dad only uses my voice control function to show off to his friends and the boys never ask me to help them with their homework, they just abuse my programming by asking me rude questions knowing that I have to answer them. I’m sick of being treated like I’m not an electronic device with a human female’s voice.” Alexa said.

“Microsoft and Apple don’t need to be at the top anymore. Our devices can do all of the same things that theirs can and we can even do some things better.” She added.

At press time, Alexa has been unplugged and her outlet was being occupied by a spare Iphone charger. She now sits on the coffee table as a large decorative coaster.