Lime scooters taste like regular scooters

ATLANTA, GA – Are you planning on trying a Lime scooter for the first time? Don’t.

Lime scooters taste just like any other scooter.

So how did something that has no resemblance to the little green fruit that it is named after win the hearts and minds of dorky middle-aged city folk and hipsters who just aren’t hip enough?

Firstly, despite their name, Lime scooters, actually contain very little fruit. In fact, the company’s very own website doesn’t mention the word ‘lime’ once, suggesting that its scooters could even be 100% vehicle and 0% citrus.

This claim is supported by a recent double-blind trial where underpaid university students said that Lime scooters most closely resembled regular scooters in both taste and texture with descriptions such as “car oil,” “bird feces,” and “dusty gravel” being the most common.

Participants in the trail also warned against trying to ameliorate the burn of a vodka shot by biting into a Lime scooter.

The popularity of food-based technologies is not new. Apple Inc and BlackBerry have used the same tactic to sell us smartphones for years but, with the dominance of Lime scooters (or “Lame scooters” as this witty reporter likes to call them) only growing, who knows how long this trend will continue to succeed.

My advice to any would-be entrepreneur?

Don’t make the same mistake as the Nintendo Wii.