New iPhone 11 can microwave frozen dinners

CUPERTINO, CA – For the first time in a number of years, Apple Inc. has undoubtedly changed the smart phone industry forever after announcing that its latest phone, the iPhone 11, “has the technological capability to microwave frozen meals, putting it far beyond its competitor’s more simple, communication-based, smartphones.”

“For too long we have had to make calls and heat up pre-made meals that we bought knowing that we don’t have enough self-respect to actually cook like decent human beings on two separate devices, but no more.” CEO Tim Cook told stunned media at today’s press event.

“The new iPhone 11, iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 11 Pro MicrowaveOven have the latest in microwave technology built into their hardware.” Cook announced.

“This elegant design combines flip-phone technology, that allows you to open the door and put your single use plastic tray in the phone, and a simple, yet conventional, keypad design that enables the user to enter both cooking times and make telephone calls.”

Weighing in at just over 36 pounds, the iPhone 11 is making waves in more areas than just its ability to heat up a soggy bolognese .

“Sure, it is big, but this is our best microwave yet.”

Apple has also responded to consumer demand for longer battery life in their phones.

“The iPhone 11 will never run out of battery provided it is plugged into your wall socket at home.” Cook also said in his announcement.

IPhone 11 wall chargers will be sold separately beginning at $59 USD each.